Hi everyone...
I don't even know where to begin. I should probably apologise first for being away for a year, so please accept my apologies.
And now, I'll explain today's blog. I've decided that I'm going to make a bunch of "how-to's" describing how to do some of the simple and not-so-simple things in life. Today, I'll share with you what I believe is the best way to apologise on any occasion. Note that this lesson is more for me, considering the start of this blog.
Make a problem To apologise, you must first master the art of making a mess. Some simple ways to do this include "accidentally" burning your mother's lovely new dress, dropping your father's wristwatch into a river and locking your little brother's toys in a safe. By creating a problem, you are one step closer to being an avid apologiser.
The Fighting, the Shouting, and the Crying Once the victim of your troublesomeness realises what you've done this time, they'll be fuming. And, of course, since it was supposedly an "accident" from your side, you have to be grieving and so terribly sorry. So already, we have a shouter and a crier. And these two elements quickly lead to a fight. The crier thinks the shouter is overreacting, the shouter is just plain mad, and soon, they both stomp off to their own private territories.
Contemplation and Crossroads So now, you're in your room, staring at the roof, and the regret starts to seep in, and the tears do too. Now, all of a sudden, you're bawling your eyes out, screaming, "Why, oh why?" at the universe. Or perhaps you're just mutely staring at the roof. At this point, you have two options, of which I will only go with one. Either you wait for the other person to be nice, or you can start the process yourself. I'll be showing you how to be the bigger person.
Indirect Expressions of Regret I find that actually going up to the person and saying sorry is hard. And once you finally do pick up your guts and manage to pry the word "sorry" out of your mouth, half the time, the other person doesn't even accept your apology. This is because even if we do mean it, the words may still sound like you're being insincere, and that only makes a person angrier. Rather than risking this 50-50 option, I suggest you go for an indirect apology. It's pretty easy to send someone an indirect apology. All you have to do is fold it into a paper plane and throw it into the other person's room. They read the note, and if everything goes according to plan, they'll feel bad. Then, you two will solve the problem together, and everyone will be happy. And if they don't really care for paper planes, you could try doing something nice for them. But let's be honest: if you held a door open for someone angry at you, you would probably end up with the person just walking away. So, the final strategy I have for you today is...
Persistent Pestering The craft of persistent pestering takes patience and consistency, which is why it is so effective. Here's how it works: each day, or even each hour if you're that pestering, you have to say sorry to the person. Sincere or not-so-sincere, the persistence and consistency of your apologies will show the other person that you are actually trying. Eventually, both of you will forget the fight and end up laughing at the daily apologies.
And my dear friends, if absolutely none of this works for you, I suggest you move to a friend's house for some time because, at this point, only the loss of you would make the fight stop. But in all seriousness, if you are fighting with someone right now, please try to resolve the problem. Even if it wasn't your fault, it's not a nice feeling to be angry with someone, and it would make both of you so much happier if you could just solve the issue.
Come back next time to see a new how-to! Bye!